2010 Summer Anti-Catalogue

Summer is in full swing here at UKHQ, and our Disco Season busy-ness has us all running around like headless poultry. But lest you think we’ve somehow forgotten you, dear reader, we sat down and scribbled out the summer edition of our quarterly-ish publication. Now, admittedly, we wrote this on cocktail napkins during happy hour at our favourite local watering hole, so we’re going to try to read our ever-drunker penmanship amidst the beer stains and whiskey slobbers, and keep it intelligible.

First up is the retail store!

Throw on your favorite Utilikilt, light up the grill and grab a cold one, because summer is here! Our favoritest time of year at the retail store, and here’s why:

1. Utilikilt = built-in air conditioning.
2. Every local brewer has a “seasonal” brew.
3. Four words: Huge Tracts Of Land
4. Summer music festivals.
5. We use The Duck Boats as moving targets for water gun fights.

There’s a fresh face sweeping the floors these days…it’s Rick! He’s our FNG and Chief Broom Pusher. He roots for the Sox and the Celtics. Truth be told, he’ll root for anyone if he’s got a cold beer in his hand. He’s been ‘kilted for about 4 years now and loves telling the story about throwing on his first Utilikilt…it was his girlfriend’s idea and involved lots of alcohol!

By the way, have you picked up your Green Camo Original yet? If not, you want to do that soon. I’ve seen the racks in the warehouse and the store…they’re looking pretty sparse if you wanna get your ass kilted in a 6 ounce rip-stop cotton. It’s lightweight, super-breezy, and won’t be around forever.

Did you know that you don’t have to wait for the newsletter to come out to find out what the freshest action on the Scratch & Dent list is? All you have to do is shoot an email to snd@utilikilts.com and we’ll fire back a PDF of what we currently have.

On a related note, a lot of dudes are coming into the store and saying, “Hey, I dropped a boat-load of weight and my Utilikilt doesn’t fit anymore. What do I do?” Well, Sparky, here’s the deal…whenever guys get too big or too small for their Utilikilts, we tell them to hit up one of them online auction sites (rhymes with eBay). This way, you get some cash that you can put towards a fresh Utilikilt. The other option is keeping it at the bottom of your closet just in case you need a “fat kilt”.

Some upcoming events at the retail store include a Naked/Clothing Optional ArtWalk (First Thursday in October) and we’re still trying to put some finishing touches on something we like to call BeerWalk (more on that later). In the meantime, we’ll keep truckin’ along…getting men out of their pants and into freedom!

Tim
Utilikilts Retail Store Overlord & Wrangler of Large Primates
620 1st Avenue
Seattle, WA 98104