Pants are lame, and Dockers® are the lamest pants we can think of. They’re so lame that we decided to come out with a Utilikilt so sleek and clean and stylish that your Docker wearing friends would cry in secret shame.
When we sat down to design the Mocker, we had two goals in mind:
- Design a cleaner, more refined looking Utilikilt that wouldn’t seem out of place at the office or with a shirt and tie.
- Put in enough hidden cargo space to please even the most demanding Utilikiltarian.
Deep Internal Slanted Pockets
For the Mocker, we took off the side cargo pockets found on other Utilikilts. (It seemed a shame to hide all those beautiful pleats.) Then we designed absolutely cavernous slanted internal pockets to hold all your gear.
How deep are these pockets? So deep you could lose an arm in them. So deep you might need a flashlight to find that cute girl or guy’s number from the bar. So deep that you can load all the junk you want in there and it’ll all rest comfortably below your “bits.”
And unlike a pair of pants, you can load your Mocker up with a ton of stuff without showing any sort of distracting bulge. The lines of the Mocker stay clean no matter what you carry around.
The Mocker’s pockets have been designed so that when you sit down all your stuff falls safely to the inside of your thigh. These things are secure. No more stuff falling out of your pockets and getting left behind in that restaurant booth. Heck, go ahead and do a cartwheel. You might lose your pride, but your stuff is staying where it’s supposed to.
The Black, Brown, and Pinstripe Mockers are constructed out of an 8 oz, 65/35 Poly/Cotton Twill. The Tan and Basil Mockers are constructed out of 9 oz, 100% cotton Twill.
Buy a Mocker and burn your Dockers® in the name of freedom.
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Warranty & Returns
Please remember, all sales are final, we do not give refunds. But within 90 days, we observe a full guarantee on craftsmanship issues, and will either repair or replace at our discretion. We reserve the right to charge a repair fee (minimum $10) and/or return shipping fees (minimum $15.75) if we determine that the issue is beyond normal wear and tear, beyond proper sizing or care issues, or beyond manufacturers defect. Likewise, we reserve the right to charge a laundering fee (an insulting $50: don’t send us dirty kilts, dammit! Seriously, it’s not cool) if the kilt sent to us is dirty, smelly, or otherwise in need of a wash.
To begin the return process, please send an email with your NAME, TELEPHONE NUMBER, MAILING ADDRESS, & A DESCRIPTION OF THE ISSUE/PROBLEM YOU ARE EXPERIENCING WITH YOUR UTILIKILT to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Wanna swap colours, styles, or sizes? Check this:
We accept exchanges of new, unworn and unwashed kilts, within 30 days of purchase. Exchanges are subject to a $20 restocking fee. Customer is responsible for shipping to and from The Utilikilts Company RMA Department.
Need your kilt fixed? We can help!
After 90 days: Customer pays for shipping to UK, repair fee (minimum $10) and return shipping (minimum $15.75). If you send us a dirty kilt, we WILL charge you a laundering fee of $50. Be nice and wash that thing before sending it to us. Our seamstresses thank you in advance. Follow the RMA instructions above to get the process started.