UKOTM - December 2007

December 1st, 2007

Introducing The Utilikiltarian Of The Month: Matt Aaron

How old are ya…?
21

Where are you based?
Lubbock Texas, living in the Texas Tech Nursing School most of the time.

Where were you born?
A little oil town in Nowhere Texas. Place used to be one of those “one-horse-towns” but then it died. Now it’s down to some prairie dogs and Chihuahua.

What do you do to pay the bills?
Nursing and teaching self-defense/Martial Arts to local students, professors, and law enforcement.

What kilts do you own?
Black Workman’s! I’m a poor student, so when I found I could only afford the one at the time, I decided that it would have to be a kilt tough enough to survive what I would put it through (kicks, claws, rocks, and bars), have enough storage to help tote the 30lbs+ of gear I usually end up carting around by the end of a climbing trip, and it had to look badass. The Workman’s was the only way to go, Looks tough, is tough, and has toughed it out through the worst I could throw at it.

Tell us about the exotic or mundane places you have traveled in your kilt:
I’ve taken this kilt (well, some places it’s taken ME) through quite a bit, actually. It’s saved my ass (and the “boys”) while traipsing through the Canyon God Forgot in New Mexico, climbing up rocks that were more interested in coming down on me, and getting lost in forests in several states. I’ve hiked in it through Colorado, several parts of Texas and New Mexico. This is one versatile piece! I’ve worn it climbing, hiking, to rock concerts, to the orchestra, teaching self-defense, out dancing, to “formal occasions”, while fixing my car, at work as a computer tech, to the pub and local coffee shops, buildering (climbing city buildings), rappelling off said buildings, and a few times to meet the girl’s family. It’s also helped me out during Martial Arts demos… seems nothing catches a crowd’s eye like a 5’5” guy in a kilt hurling a 6’4” 200lb guy across the room, or that same guy spinning and kicking in the air (got to love those modesty snaps, always fun to watch the faces when they think they’re about to get an eye full!). It’s been said before, but really, what other piece of clothing can you even pretend to do all that in?!

Which of the photos you submitted is your favorite and why?:
The one that shows the last time I was out climbing in my kilt. (Top of the page.) I’m a bit over 120-something feet above a canyon floor. I’m reaching up for my next bolt to run my rope, and it looks like I’m just doing my thing, enjoying life, and getting a tan up there. The fun happened right after that was taken, I set my leg on the next foot hold and several things happened at once: 1) My modesty snaps un-snapped on whatever modesty I could pretend to have left at that height. 2) My Belayer chose that moment to look up and choke, forgetting that he was supposed to pay attention to the rope. 3) The rock chose that moment to give away right as I was about to clip my gear and the rope into it. 4) The two women in the group with us that day decided they would look up just as I was scrabbling for a hold and my kilt tried to turn itself into a tube-top over my harness. I did finish that route, we all had a great time on it afterwards, and I still have blackmail pictures of me and the “boys” swinging free off the cliff face.

Was there a book that changed your life?
Time Enough for Love by Robert A. Heinlein

Tell us about it!
Lazarus Long WAS right about everything, a kilt is the best place to conceal a weapon, and of course the ladies always go for the confident guy in the kilt. ‘Nuf said.

What is your favorite place to be?
100+ feet up, hanging by my fingernails onto a little spine of rock while trying to run my line up to the next bolt, all the while thinking “hell yeah!” and hoping my friends at the bottom holding the rope aren’t getting tired of watching my flop around on the cliff side.

What is your heart’s desire?
To come back from a long climbing trip or a day of fighting and training and have a few at the local pub while playing music and singing with healthy friends and family there to pass the drinks and carry the chorus.

How do you travel?
Any way and any chance I get. Around town that usually means good ol’ pedal-power and flintstoning my rust block of a bike down the main streets of Lubbock during rush hour. If I have to travel farther away then it’s either in my rebuilt ’94 Mustang, or piling in with a bunch of friends in an old Jeep and praying that the wheels stay on long enough for us to get where we’re going.

THE QUESTION: What’s under your kilt?
Usually a set of toes. I have claustrophobic feet it seems. Otherwise it’s either a set of beat-to-death hiking sandals, or an old set of combat boots that look like they’ve gotten into a fight with a Doberman and a meat-grinder at the same time.

Who would you like to see wearing our kilts?
My uber-Norwegian dad, a few of my old college professors, and some assorted friends.

If we came to your town, where would you take us?
To O’Reily’s pub on a Friday night first off, for some great local music and the best Guinness pour in a couple hundred miles. Then off to a lake nearby for some skiing and knee boarding and such, or maybe to a nearby spot for some rock climbing (only about four hours out, in Texas that is close!). If that doesn’t get you breathing heavy, then there’s always the Prairie Dog Town just outside of Lubbock for some Obese Ground-Rat watching.

What kind of beer are you buying for the first round?
I’d probably start everyone off with a round of Irish Car Bombs to start the night off at O’Reily’s and make everyone forget that they’re tone deaf, or that they don’t sing. After that, probably some Belgian wheat beer like Sunshine beer. It has a good taste and the added benefit that it has some citrus in it, so when you have to hit the pub’s can all you smell is orange.

Click here to return to the Newsletter